i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize