On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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