Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
