If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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