we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just had sex on a roof
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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