It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
