i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize