he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
