I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
