so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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