I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
