Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
