Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize