420 ftw
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
