it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
