I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
