you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize