hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
