And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
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