So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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