I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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