"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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