Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
