where am i from again
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
