I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
