you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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