put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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