please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
