I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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