i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize