Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
