We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
