I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize