First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
well you can't waste a boner
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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