he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize