Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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