i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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