Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
