I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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