just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
In America we eat man semen.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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