I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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