when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
