i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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