I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
