Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize