I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize