You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
