i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He better not be in your backpack
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
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