guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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