I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
