I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
