So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
