I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i think i scared a bird with my dick
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She's the barista slut.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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