Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
So vagazzling was a success
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
