I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize