You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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