she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
