Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
