Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
