i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
