YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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