I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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