90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize