I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
