Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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