I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
