Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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