Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
