just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
