so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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