No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
