Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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