Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Fuck appropriateness.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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