she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
