Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
