Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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