What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
